the long way down

Elevator door opens and I walk right into the middle of a lovers’ quarrel.

Tall Female turns to Tall Male: You are always so mean to me! Why do you say I’m fat? I am always nice to you!! Why don’t you find yourself a nice girlfriend with small waist, small butt, small breasts… and small brain!

Long awkward silence. I start counting down very loudly inside my head.

8… 7.. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…G!

The drama hangs heavily in the confined space the three of us occupy. I keep my head down, bite into my lower lip, and focus on the fascinating patterns of the marble floor. Elevator door very slowly slides open. Tall Female storms out and I hear an audible sigh. I almost clap my hands in appreciation except for one terrifying thought…

What if Tall Male suddenly turns and asks me the size of my waist?!?

from zombie to zzzs…

I haven’t slept. Not in the last two days.

Sleep and I, we’ve always had this love-hate relationship. I love sleep. It hates me. It’s rarely around.

It’s not my first duel with sleeplessness. Usually, I just read books until my brain shuts down. I finished Dean Karnazes’ Ultramarathon Man last night.  Karno says there is magic in misery. Well, I’m still waiting for the magic to come. But, the book is indeed a fantastic read. Insanely inspiring. A masochistic thrill with bits of gory details about toenails mistaken for clamshells. I would enjoy reading it any other day. I did enjoy reading it last night. But it was the wrong choice of book to read. It had opposite the desired effect. It didn’t make me tired.  It made me want to go out and run at two in the morning! The guards in my building really don’t need any more reason to put the mental ward on the building’s emergency contact list. So i just looked for more books on my ‘to read’ shelf.

Batgirl says I should try meditation. But I don’t really know how to make that work for me. I did read the new russian poetry anthology 1953-1968. I don’t know if that counts.

Snuffy says I should try ‘changing my environment.’  Well, I can’t move the bed. And I can’t very well move houses. But I did change the sheets.  And all that this Feng Shui rearranging bit really accomplished was to cause me to stumble around my own house in the middle of the night because the furniture layout was suddenly unfamiliar.

And, Snuffy,  don’t tell me to change my lifestyle. I can’t change it overnight. I mean, what lifestyle?! The only style left in my life at this point would be running shoes! I can’t even cut my hair to the length i want because when I run and I can’t tie it back it decides to all go to my face. I refuse to look like a pint-size Yeti.

Studies show that sleeplessness is more common among women (especially menopausal ones). I am not menopausal.

I’m simply very restless. I hear static inside my head.

I’ve done the whole taking stock of my situation bit. Nothing much has changed in my life these last few weeks. My routine has been the same. Except for a few added mileage, there is nothing that stands out that can explain this. I’ve been eating healthy. I’ve been keeping my regular schedule at the gym.  Emotionally there is nothing taxing me. Work is a bit heavy but nothing out of the ordinary.

I spent the last blue-black hour sitting outside in my balcony. I don’t really get to see the sunrise from where I am.  No color show as a whole row of buildings is blocking the view. It’s just a black sky fading into grey white. And then they turn off the streetlights at the park. And that’s that.  A new day has come. If only I had slept through the transition.

I made an appointment with an acupuncturist. It was originally scheduled for this coming weekend. I’m moving it up. I hope it works. Wish me luck. Forget the feng shui. I’m putting all my furniture back.

13.1 miles of rock n’ a lil bit of roll

We’ve all learned to accept that in our family conventional methods simply do not work. There are just too many of us and way too many complications when it comes to fixing schedules. Over time democracy has proven to be  closer to demo-crazy so it has been scrapped all together. Anarchy is still allowed but only in the summers.  Now, Queen mom simply bangs the drums and blows the horns. You ignore it at your peril…

It was one of those gatherings. A summons was received from mother. And it proved to be an important reason to gather. My sister SAM finally announced her wedding date! (She’s getting married in November in Florida.) Five seconds after I learn this and the date sinks in (maybe 10… Bolt did run the 100 meters in under 20 seconds! Sometimes it takes my brain just a wee bit under that to catch up.) I had my brother’s laptop on my lap  and was  online confirming my participation in the Rock n’ Roll San Antonio Half Marathon!

I’ve always wanted to run in a Rock n’ Roll marathon. In fact, it was partly because I read about these races in Runner’s World magazine  that I agreed to start running races in manila with Batgirl. Marathons are cool but rock n’ roll marathons just add a wee bit more excitement to the whole mix because it brings together three of my passions: running, rock music and beer (read: free-flowing) ! There are other passions of course. These are just the three I could easily admit to without needing to hide a blush.

This will be the inaugural event for the race in San Antonio, Texas. The route is supposed to be  fast, flat and scenic.  The full marathon is a Boston qualifier. Both the half and full marathon course will pass by the Alamo and other signature attraction sites in San Antonio. There will be live bands playing every mile (they promise a total of 70 bands in all) and 40 cheer stations.  Right now they are busy recruiting volunteers to act as support teams to give out gels and powerdrinks. There will even be cold sponge stations. Makes me wonder though if I’m going to be needing it. I think I’ll have a harder time keeping those muscles warm. It takes me a while to thaw. Predicted temperature will be in the mid 60s. Well, we will soon find out.  Best of all, the event ends with a headliner concert. Past performers in other marathons were Seal, the Goo-Goo dolls, Collective Soul and Sugar Ray. I don’t really know who is performing in this one yet. But then again, I’m easy. Rock and roll easy…

I think the hardest part of running this race will be to actually remember to stop watching and partying and to keep running. It’s a good thing  hotVix a (T2 running mate) will be with me in this half-marathon. I will be running this route as part of the 30+ kilometer training run I am scheduled to do that Sunday according to my program. This will be the final week before we start the taper for the Singapore Marathon.

When my sisters engagement was announced in December, the 12 year old who resides in the attic in the back of my head started hoping she would get married in June. Rock and Roll Marathon San Diego was happening then. It was going to be tight but I was ready to plan out  a whole operation with my trusty sidekicks, Sneak and Caper! It didn’t happen then. But it sure is happening now! Rock and a lil’ bit of roll plus a whole lot of running…I can’t wait!

the next best thing

X-man is back. He sent me a message last night. We are meeting for coffee and my supply of stories later. He tells me I’m getting a goody bag from the Olympics (I hope Michael Phelps is in it!). I can’t wait!

The last time X-man and I shared coffee was before he left to watch the Olympics’ equestrian event in Hong Kong. Hong Kong not Beijing because bringing the horses into China would have required a 1-month quarantine for the poor horses.

Saturday was crucial decision time for me. I had to decide if I loved him enough. Enough to lend him my camera, that is. Obviously that’s a yes. I only needed to peg the degree. Do we give him big camera with powerful zoom lens or the medium sized camera or the point and shoot idiot camera? I play it safe and give him my canon powershot G9. Medium sized. Moderation in everything is always good.

He had asked me to join him. But mommy wanted to go too. His, not mine. Two tickets, three hopefuls. One had to be voted out. I volunteered. And anyway, it was partly my fault why we didn’t end up watching the main event. No, actually, the second to the main event in his book. Only 4% of all those who applied to watch the opening event in the world actually managed to get a ticket. It didn’t really matter that X-man applied more than a year ago. It was all up to luck (for some) and connections (for a whole lot of others). I’ve always considered myself charmed. But not that charmed! Anyway, the one X-man really wanted to watch was the gymnastics event. And I could have gotten those tickets. But I didn’t remember until it was too late. See, I have been traveling. And when my friend offered to sell her rhythmic gymnastics tickets to me, I dilly-dallied. I like the Olympics too. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to go fly out again so soon after getting home. So I delayed and by the time I finally got to tell X-man about it he had already scheduled the Hong Kong trip.

X-man loves the Olympics. Being at the Olympics was always his dream. So yes, it was Hong Kong and not Beijing. And yes, it was a relatively unfamiliar sport to him (jumping horses instead of jumping humans). But he really wanted to be a part of the Olympics. Even if he was just going to be a spectator. He wanted a share of it. He wanted to lay claim to the stories. That love for stories is something we have always shared.

This would be the first time for him to watch an equestrian event. As soon as he told me he had gotten tickets and that he was going, I had told him quite emphatically. “Research on it. I don’t want you getting kicked out for clapping and hooting at the wrong time!” “Sure,” he tells me which I knew meant closer to, “Yeah right!” He was not going to do it.

So every time we would meet up. I would catch myself using dressage terms like passage or piaffe (I like the way that sounds in my head) and pirouette and then try to explain what these terms were as related to the event. He would listen politely and then our conversation would drift off to something else. Last Saturday he asked me to go through it again. But I already had my hands full trying to explain the camera buttons to him. While I had remembered to bring the manual, I had forgotten it was written in Japanese! So in between sips of coffee and taking covert shots of people around us, our conversation would drift back to horses and riders and gaits and trots. When I caught myself actually trying to mimic a horse’s gait, I realized that our conversation had once again taken a turn for the ridiculous and decided to just point him to the BBC site. I really hope he had time to read up on it.

Well, he is back now and I know he will be bringing home tons of pictures. I really hope he brings double that amount in stories.

One day soon we will visit Beijing. The actual Olympics event will be long over by then. X-man and I, we made a pact. No, not the blood and gore kind. Just one over a shared coffee cup! We will go see the amazing buildings they built in China for the event (the Bird’s Nest, the Water Cube, the Basketball Stadium, the Olympics control centre etc). And then we will do the obligatory walk up and down the Great Wall. And we will visit the Forbidden City. We will have our very own Olympics tour. We will marvel at the architecture that housed those events. There will be ooohs. There will be ahhhs. There will be flirtings done with history. There will be feats of human ingenuity and imagination. There will be brilliant achievements and monumental triumphs. No. It won’t really be the Olympics. But it will be the next best thing, for now. And it will be enough.

marathon waking…

Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2008
7 December 2008, 530 am

42.195km
1 year of dreaming
16 weeks of focused training
108 breakfasts
705 training kilometers
0 injuries, please
3.5 hours of flying x 2
40,000 plus runners expected
5 hour goal time

My first marathon.

But, as always, the numbers will tell only half the story…